Desperation
by SarissaDiablo
Summary: Cloud was trying to get Sephiroth to hate him again, so he could disappear, leaving them all behind. Wolfish Ways. Yaoi, dark/fluffiness.


**Odd combination, but this one is sickly sweet, but dark at the same time. Hope you all enjoy!**

**Summary: Cloud knows about desperation. The need to experience everything before your world come crashing down around you.**

* * *

It happened overnight, on a balmy night towards the end of June. They had gotten back to Midgar, and a pale, stoic Cloud had taken his punishment with a small nod and a salute. He hadn't said one word in his defense, and had stopped the others when they had tried. He believed himself completely responsible for what had happened in the village, and took the punishment without complaint. Though he did believe that no missions for a month, and training cadets was too lenient for what happened.

The first few weeks, he had been quiet, hardly smiling, or speaking. Hardly eating, either. There had actually been one time when all five men had been forced to hold Cloud down, and make him eat. He had become withdrawn, and those close to him had been prepared for a meltdown like the one that had happened after his torture ordeal.

It never happened.

Cloud had woken up one morning, and his eyes had…changed. They had returned to the same sparkling blue, but there was a smoldering fire within them that hadn't been there before. The fire manifested itself that very same morning. While in a meeting, only two days away from the end of his punishment, he had gotten into an argument with the President, and Tseng. It was nothing major, but he had argued with a passion that he had never previously shown. Then, not an hour later, he had ambushed Sephiroth in his office, teasing and fucking each other for the remainder of the day. It had only been ten in the morning, and they didn't leave the office until almost six.

The next day, all it took was one, sultry look from the blonde, and he had Zack drooling and following after him into a janitor closet, where they had broken just about everything they could in between throwing each other against the walls and shelves.

It took them all almost a week to realize, after Cloud had blinded them with his newfound voracious sexual appetite, that the sex had taken on almost a desperate edge. They tried for the next week to curb his advances, but none of them had ever been able to say no to the blonde. How could any of them say no, when Cloud would randomly pop in either in the office or somewhere else, climb on their laps, and start to rock his hips and bite?

One night, as Sephiroth lay bloody and sated on their shared bed, Cloud deeply asleep next to him, the General carefully got off the bed, wincing slightly when the claw marks on his back twinged. Only bothering to slip on a pair of black pajama pants, he padded silently downstairs, blinking when three pairs of softly glowing eyes looked at him from the darkness of the kitchen. One red, one blue, and one yellow blinked owlishly at him, and he couldn't help but grin slightly. Vincent was making something to eat, dressed almost identically as Sephiroth, barefoot and in pj pants. Sephiroth entered the kitchen, leaning against the fridge and letting the cold metal soothe his ravaged back.

"Is he still acting the same?" Vincent asked quietly, taking a bite of the sandwich in his hand. Sephiroth nodded, and Vincent sighed. He set down his food, and reached into a drawer next to the oven, pulling out a small Cure. He activated it, and walked around the island in the middle of the room, releasing the spell when he got close enough. Shivering, Sephiroth closed his eyes and sighed as the ragged wounds on his back and hips pulled together. He opened his eyes when it was done, nodding his thanks to Vincent as the man put the Cure back, training his red eyes on him as he continued to eat. Sephiroth closed his eyes again, and just listened to the soft breathing of the wolves, their steady heartbeats, and the thrum of insects from the yard out back.

"Is it just me," Vincent began, waiting until Sephiroth opened his eyes slightly. "Or does it seem as though Cloud is distancing himself from all of us?" It was hot on his lips to deny the accusation, when a memory flashed through his mind, shutting him up. He remembered a moment just before he was to enter Cloud's office.

"_They'll hate me, but I have to," Cloud had whispered, his accent thicker then normal with grief and resignation. Panic had fluttered through him, but when Sephiroth had pushed open the door, Cloud met him with a lazy smile, and lust filled eyes._

"I think you may be right," Sephiroth whispered, closing his eyes again. Vincent had his full attention, and the gunman knew it.

"Whenever we fight or have sex, I feel as though he is forcefully branding my touch on him, drinking in every sensation," Vincent said thoughtfully.

Sephiroth nodded without opening his eyes. "I have felt the same way, lately."

"Talking about me?"

Sephiroth didn't even look, though he was badly startled inside. It had become eerie how silent Cloud was when he wanted to be. Somehow, he could even mask the sounds of his heart, and breathing.

"Where are you planning on going without us, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked calmly, opening his eyes in time to see the surprise and guilt in the blazing red/blue eyes, before it was masked by arrogant anger. Cloud shrugged and walked over to them, leaning against the island with his hip, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

"What makes you think that I'm going anywhere?" he asked, his voice condescending and amused. Even though anger was building inside Sephiroth, his heart was cold. It had frozen when he saw those emotions in Cloud's eyes, a clear admission of guilt.

"What makes you think you can hide it from us? From me?" he countered, raising a single, contemptuous eyebrow. Cloud smirked, raising his own eyebrow.

"Because you're all easily blinded by sex," he said deadpan, unfolding his arms and turning so he could put his hands on the island. He leaned in, smirking as he looked from Vincent to Sephiroth, with the identical looks of surprise on both faces. "I could be planning ta assassinate the President right under yur noses, and as long as I kept fucking you, none of you would eva know." Sephiroth knew that the words were a defense mechanism; he knew that the scathing words were only meant to deflect from the subject. Knowing those things didn't stop them from cutting deep into his soul. Even seeing that certain light in his eyes, showing that Cloud just wanted him to drop it, to stop pushing. He was suddenly, and wrenchingly reminded of the time when they had their roughest moment, when he himself had gone on a suicide mission, just to ease the painful twisting in his chest.

Cloud was trying to get Sephiroth to hate him again, so he could disappear, leaving them all behind.

"No," he gasped out, striding quickly across the kitchen, and crushed Cloud to him. He stared down into the drowning, panicked eyes below him, and swiftly but gently eased their lips together. He kissed the helpless, pliant lips, putting all his denial, all his love into the kiss.

He stepped back, noticing that Vincent had slipped away, taking the two wolves with him. He knelt, letting his hands wander from his upper arms down, until they were resting on the slight swell of Cloud's hips.

"No," he repeated, voice soft. "I'm not going to let you go anywhere by yourself." He dragged Cloud down to his knees, kissing him urgently when he protested slightly. Finally, they were face to face, kneeling on the floor with Sephiroth's hand buried in his thick golden hair. He looked deeply into the reddened eyes, and saw a flicker of blue and silver in their depths. He reached mentally, eyes narrowing and turning colder then ice.

"Get out Jenova," he said in a deadly whisper, bearing down on her with every ounce of what made him General. With everything that made Cloud his, and him, Cloud's.

**lxlxlxlxl**

She shrank away, hissing slightly as she fled back to her metal prison.

_Fine_, she growled to herself, settling down. _Sephiroth I can't fuck with. I'll just work on the other ones. Genesis should be easy._ She smirked.

**lxlxlxlxl**

"I…" Cloud whispered, blinking at him with his normal, luminous eyes. "You can't come with me Sephiroth." The General smiled lovingly, raising his other hand and resting it on Cloud's neck, caressing his jaw with his thumb. He ignored the admission.

"If you want to leave ShinRa, I will go with you. If you want to go after the rebels, I will be with you. I will be a hermit, living in a cave, with no hot water or showers, with no shampoo or conditioner." His eyebrow twitched slightly as Cloud smirked on the last one, pulling the blonde in for a gentle kiss. He stayed that way for a moment, letting their lips and tongues caress each other languidly, before he broke it. He nipped his way down the pale neck, wrapping his arms around the now purring form. He whispered his next words against the pulse that beat steadily just below the surface.

"Wherever you go, whatever you decide, I will be with you Cloud. I swear it to you," he breathed, closing his eyes and purring when the pulse fluttered. His breathing stilled, waiting, as Cloud's arms hesitantly rose, running shaking fingers through his mane of silver hair. He cautioned a look up, and his breath caught for an entirely different reason. Cloud brought their lips together using his hair, and the simple meeting of their lips was full of emotion: love, pain, regret, happiness, and so many others. Sephiroth took them willingly, teasing the blonde's mouth open with his tongue, letting Cloud know silently that he would always be willing to share the burden.

He blinked in confusion when Cloud pulled away slightly, a half sob, half laugh coming from him, but then he drew their lips together again, and any coherent thought went out the window.

Later, neither one could have said whose clothing came off first, only that one moment they were dressed, the next, pressed tightly to one another, lips fused and Sephiroth draped over the smaller form.

Their hands couldn't get enough of the other, constantly on the move. The smallest touch was always accompanied by a small gasp, sometimes more. Their lips traced every smooth line they could reach, Cloud arching into Sephiroth's touch with a moan, when the silver haired man slid down, licking and nibbling every inch he could reach.

Cloud rested on his elbows as Sephiroth moved, panting and watching his love with hungry eyes. Sephiroth smirked up at him, capturing his eyes as he flicked the tip of his tongue over the sensitive nipple. The blonde whimpered, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back as Sephiroth continued his ministrations, moving over to the other one after a minute. His body was afire with need, and even the light brush of Sephiroth's hair in his skin, sent chills racing through his body. Every touch of his lips, tongue, or teeth made his desire rise to new heights, until he collapsed onto his back, writhing and moaning Sephiroth's name. His lover finally stopped, looking up his chest to give him a smug smirk, before slithering down even farther. For a moment, Cloud's breath stopped in anticipation, but he groaned in disappointment when Sephiroth went further down, not even allowing his hair to sweep across his straining erection.

"Seph," he gasped out, looking down. "Ya killin' meh," he drawled, his accent as thick as what rested on his own hip. Sephiroth only smirked, and without hesitation, reached out a hand, opened the cupboard on the island next to him, where the oil was kept, and grabbed the first glass bottle he felt. He glanced at the bottle, and then took a second look, lips twisting in amusement. He looked up at Cloud, and grinned when the blonde cocked a curious eyebrow.

"I'm going to use extra virgin olive oil on you," he purred, grinning wolfishly as he twisted open the cap, Cloud watching him with lazy, mischievous eyes.

"Make sure not ta tell Angeal," he murmured, making Sephiroth laugh softly as he dribbled some of the oil onto Cloud's erection. He hummed in approval when it grew heated by the blonde's body heat, making a glistening trail downwards, exactly where he wanted it the most.

"Seph…" Cloud breathed, gasping when his love looked up, devouring him with his eyes. He groaned and let his head fall back down onto the tile, moving helplessly when Sephiroth ran the tips of his fingers up his shaft, coating his fingers while teasing. He made wordless noises of pleasure, bending his knees and offering himself shamelessly. Sephiroth growled at the delicious picture he made, obligingly his lover and sliding one slicked finger into his tight heat. Cloud's back arched as he groaned, both hands grabbing two handles on either side of him, in a desperate move to hold onto anything as pleasure soared through him.

Sephiroth started pumping slowly in and out, eyes glued to the flushed face of his willing prisoner. Cloud's moist lips were parted, his tongue occasionally darting out to lick at them as his body moved liquidly with every movement from Sephiroth. He slipped a second finger in, getting an even deeper moan from Cloud. He thrust them a few times, stopping when Cloud's eyes snapped open, staring down at him beseechingly.

"If you love me, then love me," Cloud whispered, voice a desperate plea. Not able to resist the deep need that called to him, Sephiroth removed his fingers and drew some of the oil over himself. Cloud lifted one leg to drape over his shoulder as he shifted his position, the other wrapping tightly around his hips. Looking down at his lover as he aligned himself, Sephiroth knew that this moment would be forever burned into his memory. The utterly certain knowledge that it was _his _touch, _his_ love, that Cloud trusted to bring him out of the darkness, would be remembered, no matter what happened. He slid himself slowly but firmly to the hilt, Cloud lifting his hips to accept him deeper, both of them letting out sighs of pure, blissful relief. They fit perfectly together, as they always had.

Sephiroth started moving slowly, one arm wrapping around the leg over his shoulder, the other hand grasping Cloud's hip firmly. The blonde was making soft noises, his hands releasing from his death hold on the handles, resting one on the hand at his hip, the other caressing a milky white thigh. Sephiroth kept his pace smooth and deep, and found himself falling into the barely open eyes below him. They were pure blue, glittering against the dark gold of his lashes, and the only person looking out was Cloud. They were eyes he hadn't seen in over half a year. It was humbling, seeing the utter devotion and trust Cloud felt about him. Out of red tinged eyes, all he saw was hunger. He couldn't believe that he had actually started doubting that Cloud still truly loved him. Now he knew the truth. No matter what Jenova did, or what Cloud had been through, they still owned each other, heart and soul.

He speeded up his movements, though not much. Only enough to hit the certain spot inside his lover harder with every thrust. Cloud fully closed his eyes again at the first brush, gasping sharply, then moaned as Sephiroth continued. It was just enough of an increase in friction, that the molten warmth started to twist his insides, his General groaning softly when Cloud's body tensed around him. Cloud resisted the urge to stroke himself, drawing bloody crescents with his nails on Sephiroth's skin. The slight pain was enough to push Sephiroth closer to the edge, his thrusts falteringly slightly as sweat rolled slowly down his skin. He kept on a steady rhythm, watching his love through narrowed eyes as his breath became shorter with every thrust. He moved once, twice, then Cloud was groaning loudly, arching off the floor as he came in hot bursts. Sephiroth was only able to snap into the slick, tight muscles pulsing around him once, before it became too much. He hissed sharply, his head falling forward as his hands tightened into the blonde's skin, shuddering in the aftermath of the explosive climax.

They stayed like that for a moment as they both relearned how to breath, before they laughed and groaned at the same time, Sephiroth pulling himself out of the blonde, and laying on his side next to him. Cloud turned onto his side and smiled contentedly when Sephiroth pulled him close into his chest with one arm, the other propping his own head up. They lay there, both eyes open and blindly staring as Sephiroth idly stroked up and down his spine.

"If..." Cloud said suddenly, then bit his lip. Sephiroth blinked, and looked down at him.

"If?" he said suggestively, and Cloud sighed, drawing back and locking eyes with him. The gleaming sapphire was deadly earnest.

"If…" he drew a deep breath, and continued. "If _I_ go bad, I need you to promise me something." Sephiroth didn't ask what he meant by that. He knew.

"I promise that if I can't snap you out of it, then I will kill you," he said quietly, his voice just as serious. Why shouldn't it be? He had promised that very thing to a good many people in his life, and had followed through with each one. The mental instability was inherent in those with mako in their system, especially the 1st's. Considering the things they were required to do, sometimes you just snapped. This promise was even more serious then any he had made before. Because, with Jenova, if Cloud lost his sanity, he would probably take her with him. He may love Cloud, and something inside him would die to do it, but he would do it. He was a protector first and foremost, even if that meant protecting someone from themselves.

Cloud melted into his embrace, feeling at peace for the first time in months. He had worried that Sephiroth might let his emotions get in the way, when it was something that would have to be done. It lifted something off his soul, knowing that his General would be there to do what was necessary. Tears started falling down his cheeks, as warm wetness could be felt on his scalp, from Sephiroth's face pressed into his spikes.

"I hate you right now," Sephiroth whispered, and Cloud smiled sadly.

"I know," he whispered back. Sephiroth tightened his arm, and Cloud pressed himself as tightly as he could get into the warm, muscled body. With a sigh that sounded suspiciously like a sob, Sephiroth let him go, and stood. Before Cloud could even move, he was lifted in strong arms, blinking up at the softly smiling face. His beautiful jade eyes made him want to apologize, though he never would for his request. They were full of love and hate, pride and regret. With a small kiss on his forehead, Sephiroth took them up the stairs and to their room, laying them down on the bed and covering them, without another word.

Sephiroth lay warm and comforting at his back, already breathing evenly in exhausted sleep. With a small smile and a content sigh, Cloud snuggled down deeper into the silky smoothness of the body behind him, slipping into the sweet oblivion of sleep.

**lxlxlxlxl**

Jenova whistled happily to herself, as she whispered things into Angeal's sleeping brain, showing him pictures of Cloud and Sephiroth using his ridiculously expensive oil. When the dream took root, of the two men laughing and snickering about how they were using it right under his nose, the oil that Angeal got imported all the way from _Shiba Island_, in the _Southern Sea_, - his brain easily supplied the mocking laugher – Jenova slipped away, snickering. That had been to easy.

Angeal had always been self-conscious about the things he bought, since he always went for the highest quality. So what is it was stupidly expensive? He liked the best. Except, he had gotten teased about it enough times for it to develop into a slight paranoia.

She peeked at her Master, growling at the presence of Sephiroth. Withdrawing, she settled herself comfortably, whistling. She couldn't turn Cloud away from Sephiroth, fine. She would just turn everyone else against them. She would get Sephiroth and Cloud, if it worked. The whistle cut off, and a gleaming, sharp smile replaced it. Two for the price of one.

* * *

**A/N: Brownies for anyone who knows where the quote, "If you love me, then love me." comes from. ^.^**


End file.
